Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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