he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
ok first of all what the fuck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
