all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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