You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
