You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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