but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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