Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
