whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
