WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
