i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
