I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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