i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
