remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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