I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There's always time for handjobs
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize