Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
