I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I didn't notice because vodka
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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