That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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