Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nutella sex= disaster
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize