Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
