Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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