I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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