my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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