what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have aggressive nipples.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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