I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
