I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
