thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
