id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
