it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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