I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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