If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
