Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
