We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
