Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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