Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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