Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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