WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
