im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
