question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
