This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
