I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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