he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
