How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
