Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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