Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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