white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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