Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
