I'm jealous of your bromance
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
