I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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