its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
