so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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