So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
