I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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