i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
