So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
