i think my mom watched the whole time
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
