I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
