none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
