as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
