K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
