yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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