Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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