i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
