I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
