Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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