i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize